Family Hatred

Date: 9/13/2017

I was on vacay with my father's family somewhere in Europe. We were all riding in a car on a highway traversing throughout a city filled historical landmarks such as political buildings and castles. I remember noticing how incredibly fast the traffic was and how uneasy it made me. Eventually, we made it to our hotel. The hotel was atop a sort of restaurant plaza. Every restaurant was a sushi bar of some sort. Although, many, if not all, sushi bar had a mix of Indian food served along with the sushi. So, we were waiting for my father to arrive before we ate (he apparently wasn't in the car with us). Curious about where exactly the hotel was and in an attempt to pass time via conversation, I asked my uncle what the deal was with the hotels was. Instead of starting any sort of conversation, he gave me some snippy remark like "of course they're above us", as though I was an idiot for thinking otherwise. Seeing that I wasn't going anywhere by talking, I sat down on the floor, back against a wall, and waited in silence. Something seeming like twenty minutes passed by. I was really getting hungry by then. I was growing bored of sitting on the ground, too. I rose to my feet and walked around the corner. To my surprise, my father and his family were all sitting at a table, eating away. I grew so enraged at them all for starting without me, never informing me of my father's arrival. In a rage a threw all the food off the table, screaming "I hate you all!" *It should be known that I have a lot of issues with my father and his family in reality. I haven't seen or spoken to them since late 2014. I strongly suspect that the issue in this dream isn't the fact that they were eating without me as much as that they didn't inform me of my father's arrival or that they were going to eat. My father and his family are notorious for excluding me from information regarding family matters. As a child, I always hated how my mother (who divorced my father when I was very young) spoke so ill of my father. I would always try to defend him. It wasn't until maybe 2010 or so when I first began to truly see what she always complained about. The thing that initially got my attention was when I met my cousin's fiancé, never hearing word of his existence beforehand. This didn't really get to me too much, but that was probably due to my own denial of my father's family's ways. It wasn't until a year later until we were to get together that I was informed they were already married and I was never informed or even invited to their wedding. This was the event that shattered my false perception of my father and his family. for a year or two afterwards, things just got worse between us. Finally, on Christmas of 2014, my father said something to me that hurt me so much. It threw me into a rage and I demanded he take me home the next day (we were in Cleveland and I live in Toledo). The last thing he said to me was "I guess I'll see you when I see you". I haven't seen any of them since. They have also ignored any attempts of mine to contact them. After about a year, I finally gave up. I realize now that they aren't worth fighting for. If they were to be added back into my life, all I'd get would be more disappointment.