We're on a boat

Date: 7/8/2016

I find myself on a boat and realize that it's Rob n mine's. I see that we're moored on an extremely congested dock. Looking around, I noticed that the waters in front of us are also extremely congested with lots of boats all around and ahead of us. And this congestion results in there only being a slim passage way out away from the dock, in every direction. I start to feel anxious. At this point I also notice that "Our" boat is hideous! Not in a junky beat up barely afloat kinda a boat way. But in a very quirky bizarrely / uniquely designed way, but it's clean. For some reason I think the design reminds me of an Avanti, which is a hideous Canadian car that I can't stand the look of.... It's the Avanti of boats. Although it's HUGE, unlike an Avanti. I can't get over how hideous "Our" boat is! As I look around and see all the beautiful boats visible in every direction from where I'm perched, I think to myself,"Why do we have THIS boat? How did we end up with such a hideous ugly boat?" And I feel a deep embarrassment about "Our" boat. Suddenly I understand that we are going to start up our boat's engine and pull away from the dock, and I'm nervous about our ability to navigate the congested waters. I'm adamant that "We" get ourselves some immediate assistance to which Rob dismissed just as immediately. I however persist with my intent to get us help and prevail, coming back to our boat having found a woman whom I believed would help us navigate our way outta the congestion that we fond ourselves in. Next I have images of myself being outside of the boat, next to the boat in the water, but still connected to the boat with my hand in someway touching or holding the side, looking forward towards this woman who is also in the water with me...and she is shouting out directions that are really difficult for me to hear, given all the waves and the sound of wind rushing around me. Another image is that "our " boat is now like an old Disney style toy blow up canoe, and I'm still in the water next to the boat looking forward towards the same woman whom I have asked for help. She's still helping me, foraging the rocky rough waters, and I'm still struggling in every movement I engage in, trying to understand her and what she's doing and why. Meanwhile, I realize that throughout the entire time that I've been struggling in the water next to the boat, that Rob's been sitting up in the boat appearing to not have a worry in the world as what was visible on his face, looking as if he's been kicked back enjoying the ride like there's no issues at all. I get really upset and think to myself that he hasn't even noticed that I'm NOT in the boat, and haven't been for what seems to me at that moment, a very long time, but rather I have been in the rough waters next to the boat, trying to navigate stormy rough waters all by my self - even though I'm aware that there is the woman who is up ahead of me and has been assisting in our major task at hand - I feel all alone in my struggle which at first was against the mass quantities of other big beautiful boats that was the cause of all the congestion in the water, and later the stormy rough waters. Seeing what I just have and thinking all that I have, I'm now exhausted, and want to just let go of the boat and swim by myself, feeling like it would be so much easier to just start swimming away....