Holding Sergi

Date: 9/15/2019

Sergi lies next to me in my bed where Lucas usually is. For a moment, I decide to teach him it's okay to experience love. I roll over and pull him close to me as the little spoon for a moment. It's brief but I'm glad to have him with me. This time, he doesn't turn into Lucas the second I hold him. I act almost as his manager in a way here, but it's not entirely clear how. After, I return to a class I have to take. It's in a place with an open atmosphere and gray concrete floors. I'm in a slight hurry and there is a woman with long, blond hair like my aunt Karen here. She's almost like a Barbie come to life and there's another one of her. Her waist looks kind of strange with its plastic representation of humanity. There are dogs running and here, in and out of an auditorium. I think I'm here for an audition for a play. I have the option to choose a dog from all of those running around. I scoop up a medium sized lanky dog in my arms, light colored like the stray dogs here, and he becomes mine. My mother was here, directing and controlling me with a forceful demeanor. I remember her not-always-sensitive advice. I'm a little frustrated with her lack of understanding for other people's lives.