Niall

Date: 1/4/2017

Me, Matthew, Callam, Richard and Harrison are sitting round a desk at some Paralympic ceremony. Harrison gets handed a spreadsheet and asks who wants to win the Paralympic rock climbing n I said okay. Next thing I know I am a Paralympian champion n have a gold medal and all the glory. Flower of Scotland plays and the crowd erupts. Flash forward and I am welcomed a hero in Scotland with no questions asked. Get home and my house is blue and my dad has built a massive new wooden house in the garden in colours blue to match our new neighbours playhouse. The new neighbours are 3 girls from year below me in law at Dundee and they defo moved in cause I am the paralympian champion without concern for the 1hr 40 car journey to uni everyday. Go upstairs and Niall is lying with his trousers off and he has a vagina and is screaming that i need to put an egg in him. My sister comes into my room with an egg and i put it in his vagina and it hatches into a chicken. Then go outside in to my court and there's loads of people in glasgow uni leavers hoodies having a conference and I see Danis Leftikovis from my course and he demands he speaks to me. He comes over and is raging because Ross' dad Frank has underpaid him for manual labour and he is threatening to curse him with Latvian magic. Then I woke up.