Maria Bamford is the shit

Date: 8/27/2017

I was in California visiting my sister. She lives in Colorado in this world, but dream land is weird. She had something to do, so I explored the city on my own. By going to a mall, as one does. There is where I discovered a toy/comic book/amazing store owned by none other than Maria Bamford. But there were somehow two of her, bless. She was the store owner, but also a lovely lady who told stories to all the children. I may have stolen the chair she was sitting in to tell the story, because of course I did. I picked out gifts for each of my kids, then discovered that they had an entire wall full of comic books, VHS and cassette tapes, and lost my shit because those are all the things my husband loves. Then my best scenario happened when I saw a shelf full of these metal bells that had words etched onto them. My favorite of which said "lady killer". All of them were related to serial killers and true crime, and this might seem like an odd thing for a children's store to have, but I sincerely thing this dream was given to me as my absolute best scenario. This place is my mother fucking Disneyland and I want it now. The most realistic part of the whole thing was when I had to text my husband to see how much money we had before I bought everything.