Why I'm Mad at Pete Davidson

Date: 6/26/2018

I was having dinner with a bunch of SNL cast members. Someone told Pete Davidson that I didn't like him. He found that very amusing. He asked me if it was true. I tried to avoid answering, but he wouldn't let me off the hook. I told him it was true! I didn't like him very much. I was mad at him. I couldn't remember why. Then I remembered an old sketch where Pete had killed one of my favorite recurring characters. That was why! I was relieved that I wasn't mad at him for a really stupid reason, like getting engaged to Ariana Grande after like a week. I told him I was angry about the sketch and he looked at me like I was crazy. He was like "Dude, it's a sketch show. No one cares about continuity. We can just bring her back." So we did that. We wrote and performed a new sketch and I think I got to play the character, which doesn't make a lot of sense, but whatever, happy ending.