Confrontation

Date: 3/28/2020

“Coke is better than coke zero” I can’t remember how that tied into the dream but it’s a line I remembered. I really only have bits and pieces of this dream but I’ll see what I can write down. I remember walking to school yet again can’t remember why but there was six minutes before second period started and I was at this gas station. I remember I had to make a decision between trying to sprint the mile and a half or so there and be a little late or try and take public transit and leave it up to when the bus got here. (Taking the bus gives me so much anxiety). I got to school I can’t remember if I was late or not but I went to health for some reason, I guess hoping to see oakley even though It definitely wouldn’t be on my schedule. This might have been where I heard someone say coke is better than coke zero. People didn’t seem to care that I was in there but I never got a chance to talk to Oakley. When the bell rang Oakley got up quickley and left. I chased her down in the hallway and hugged her from from behind and said I really care about you oakley. I’ll admit probably not my greatest idea but idk its a dream I’m just telling what I remember. She wriggled out and glanced up at me and said I’m in a hurry. I asked her way she was going and she whispered, the health center. I stood still for a little bit trying to process as she walked off but I returned to my senses to follow her. I said wait oakley will you tell me what’s wrong I feel ignored and so helpless to what you’re going through right now. She walked out the main door and I was left standing there like some rejected high schooler in a high school drama movie when he’s tried to ask her out several times and just keeps getting no as an answer. I guess I’m just thinking of sixteen candles (oakley recommended it so I think of her when I think about it). Oakley had walked out the main door to the outside and I ran to catch up again. I vaulted over the railing of the wheelchair ramp so that I could catch up to her. I could tell she was getting tired of talking to me but I had one last thing to say. I was like, you know what ever you are going through is probably way worse than how I feel but my emotions and well being matter too and I just want to some clarity from your side. I hate being stuck in the limbo of being unsure of how you feel about me and what going on with you. I love you Oakley and when I say it I mean it. I want my wholesome meme sending, kind listener back. I want to play minecraft with you and show you my progress on guitar and say I love you over the phone so you can hear it and I can hear you on the other end. I’ve never seen oakley this upset before but she was sad and angry and honestly hard to describe the emotions she portrayed, but she turned and quickly walked off leaving me on the verge of tears by the wheelchair ramp calling my self stupid for saying something like that and replaying the scene in my mind thinking of alternative endings.