Just a dream

Date: 2/22/2020

I had kissed two different people; one familiar and comfortable, the other unknown and distant. The first I had never seen before though. His castle was huge with long columns stretching into infinity, reflecting pools that looked more akin to oceans glittering in eternal sunset, and a guard dog that was specifically made for nightmare fuel- his face often distorted into garish shapes; eyes bulging and bloodshot with it’s tongue left foaming and lolling out of its head as it attempts to bark and scare us away (cant remember the others, but I knew I wasn’t alone). Our host never presented himself but his voice would echo all throughout his palace. He sounded like thunder and summer rain. Though I had this dream before with winding staircases and incessant ticking clocks, I was never scared of him. Everyone else coward while I waited, expectant. ~~~~~~~later in the dream~~~~~~ He had me do a series of challenges, never explaining what it was or why I had to do them, but if we wanted to escape from this Chinese finger trap of a castle, we’d have finish his game. At one point, I had to roll an empty toilet paper roll in scraps of paper, clip the ends down with metal clothespins, and stuff it with string and put it in the oven to bake. In the beginning the familiar stranger had said that he wasn’t going to coddle us, but towards the end I was clinging to him as we fell. I remember feeling terrified because the physics of dream heights don’t play out the same in reality. I wanted to wake up, to get away from this feeling of unwelcomed lightness and be rushed back to gravity. To safety. At the same turn of the token, I didn’t want to leave this animated, gangly shadow. After what felt like forever, I felt his arms encircle me as we slowed before gently landing. I wiggled my way to his neck and clung tighter, feeling his warmth penetrate my clothes and skin. He chuckled and murmured, “I got you, you’re alright.” His voice, honeyed and smooth, I kissed him. The next dream involved Max*. For the life of me, I don’t know why Max appeared. He’s a mutual friend, I talk to him through text unless it involves anime or manga, and I know for a fact, I wasn’t attracted to him. I’m not. Some of the details are very hazy and I don’t know how we even got to that point. But I do remember being in Outback’s parking lot. We were holding hands as we walked toward the door. I remember being uneasy because if we’re at Outback, then we’re in *Podunk Town C where the majority of our friends and family who wouldn’t approve of us live. He squeezed my hand reassuringly, as if feeling my disquieting thoughts actually hitting him, and smiled down at me. He was wearing a suit, and I a track suit. I saw my old manager helping a newbie navigate the POA system while the rest of the store was in chaos. Some twelve year olds snuck in and mixed drinks of their own, others were brazenly doing lines on tables, or getting in fights with other patrons. “This isn’t right, this isn’t right, this isn’t right,” was the mantra that screamed in my head as I took all of this in. Not only the scene before me, but with Max and I. When did I take note of him? How long has this been going on before I realized a relationship had suddenly established itself? Is this a secret desire I had but always squashed down, only manifesting in dreams? I kept the rising panic from controlling me. Despite the screams coming from fighting customers and the voice in my head telling me this is wrong, either Max kissed me, or I kissed him. With the fleeting memory of the shadowy stranger and Max’s coordinated and full lips and salty tasting tongue, Max knew what he was doing. He strangely tasted sweet. Piña colada? Coke? What ever it was, I loved it. With him, I didn’t have to pace myself so he could learn the mechanics of this newly acquired skill and how his lips should slide against mine; he was slow and methodical, dragging me down ever so slowly into him until I lost all sense of myself. He stopped, abruptly, taking my head gently in his hand and looking me in my eyes. “Ready to go?,” he asked. My brain was still murky and I yearned for more of his candied kisses, but I didn’t want to push it. So, reluctantly, I took his hand and lead him out the door to his car. I was smiling by the time we arrived. Blue light illuminated his face, the crisp air making it feel that much colder. He held me against him as we leaned against his car. His heartbeat, I had imagined, so strong and calm, helped lull me to sleep as I drew random patterns on his chest. I realized that I was a heck of a lot smaller than him. *Some names have been changed.

AI generated interpretation This dream appears to reveal a conflict between the dreamer's desires and the expectations of their family or society. The dreamer seems to be drawn to two different people - one unknown but familiar, and one familiar but unknown. The first person appears to represent a desire for adventure and independence, while the second person represents a desire for comfort and security. The dreamer is in a state of limbo between these two desires, feeling both scared and expectant. This could be indicative of the dreamer feeling trapped between the expectations of their family and society and their own desires for autonomy and fulfilment. The dreamer's feelings of unease and guilt in the second dream are likely a reflection of the conflicting emotions they are experiencing.