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Date: 1/3/2021

had a really ínstense dream about victor. i was at the store with emily- it was i think walmart? don’t know but the lights were really bright and someone started following us, so we came home. after i tucked her into bed victor knocked on the door, it was 4am. he apologized to me, said he was leaving for the army again. but before he left i noticed he had accidentally spilled something on himself and i offered to quickly wash the hoodie for him. he accepted and i let him into my house. he strolled around, as it was his first time actually in my home. i put his hoodie to wash and he said, “well i better go.” i followed right behind him as he walked to the door, asking him to wait for his hoodie. he simply said that when he comes back in how ever many months he’ll get it. i wasn’t okay with the answer and followed him outside. “are you uncomfortable keeping my hoodie for a while?” he asked me looking hurt. i said no, feeling the opposite. he continued to make his way to his car but finally, after refusing to say this, i said “wait, victor stop... i’m gonna miss you” and gave him a hug. he hugged me back. he then proceeded to try to kiss me, but i backed off trying my best not to scream. he gave me one last hug, and went off. i was stuck with his hoodie. wtf am i supposed to do? i thought about putting it on a few times, but mostly i thought about folding it and storing it away. i don’t know which one i did, i went to school the next day. i was searching for my guidance class since i had no clue where i was meant to go. i saw shamil though, victors girlfriend, she for some reason ran up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. she said she loved the gift i made her which was apparently a purple candle. i had no clue what she was talking about so i continued on my way. i had finally found where i was meant to go, but all i kept thinking was what was i gonna tell alondra and ana, was i even gonna tell them at all? i was nervous at what they would say