Cardboard Run-up

Date: 8/17/2019

I am skating outside in the rain. Once inside, somewhere, N and G are there encouraging me to join them. At this point I mention to N that this must be a dream - he nods. We skate this tiny rail with a cardboard run up. Soon the room is crowded with people waiting to have a turn. I am frustrated that my board is wet and that the people are many. The room is now a patch of grass with fences - not walls. We are outside. —— when I first saw N I questioned where I was and became lucid. I made a point earlier this week to go along with the story of dreams which awake in, to ensure that I don’t actually wake up. This worked, however I lost lucidity and only recall this dream as a spectator —— ~ I am in the L (a pub), which is on the wrong side of the road. Many things happen inside, including a particular, though now forgotten, instance of emasculation; shape-shifting into small pieces with a women in a lift to avoid the impact when it failed and fell and; Tony Soprano and crew all going to the bathroom to masturbate simultaneously, more to relieve themselves than for pleasure; one of the gangsters gets a close up, he wipes his lips, which turns the whole scene on its head. Everyone is leaving the pub now and I walk home. A man who was boasting about meditation follows which infuriates me. On reflection is seems this hanger-on represents the unease I feel whenever I talk myself up. I realise I left a full pint behind. On this route home I meet JM, he tells me he limits himself to £21.10 a day now. We make a plan then and there to eat three courses which I can’t recall - except one being a nacho supreme.