So much anger...

Date: 7/18/2017

I was on campus, with a guy who was apparently my boyfriend. It's blazing hot out, but we've got to walk from one end to another via a back road. We set off. And as we come over a hill we see hordes and hordes of people in the streets and on the sidewalks. They're all in line--roughly--but there are enough that the road is blocked off and cars can't get through. There's an intersection where two roads merge into one, and it's basically bottlenecked. Me and dream-boyfriend are both like "nahhhhhh" so we just wiggle our way through the lines, cutting in front of everyone. Some people get mad at us, but we don't really care, and we roll our eyes instead. Then I'm at a house sort of place, but it's nothing I recognize from real life. Boyfriend and I are in a back room making out or something. I'm changing into what dream me considered lingerie but was essentially just a swimsuit--and not even a very revealing one at that. Looked like a sports bra and spandex shorts. I can't really remember how, but somehow while I'm changing I find out that boyfriend has been cheating on me (he was either sleeping with a friend's brother, or had made me sleep with the brother and I didn't remember, or some mixture of the two I don't really know??) I get furious, confronting him about it. There's a lot of yelling, he's trying to apologize, I'm having none of it. I quickly grab a blanket to wrap around myself and storm out of the room. I can hear my family and grandparents over in the dining room playing a game, and I see one of my friends (also not from rl) over on a balcony type thing. When I get to her she sees the look on my face and offers me a drink. I accept, and then launch into my rant about this stupid guy. She's totally on board, hates this guy now too. He tries to come over, to apologize and try to get me to come back. I scream at him to never come near me again. He's persistent, but so am I. Finally, I storm out through the dining room and the sliding glass door to the back deck. It's night time, warm, humid, and raining but I'm under a covering so I don't get wet. I'm still fuming. My family comes out, to see what's wrong with me. I tell them to go inside and leave me alone. My grandma comes nearer, to say something, but I yell at her. She retreats inside. My mom sees what I'm wearing underneath the blanket, and sees the drink in my hand. She starts berating me and my life choices. I scream at her to leave me alone. Still, for some reason she actually really likes my boyfriend and wants me to reconcile with him. I tell her absolutely not. She's irritated with arguing with me, so she tells me to talk to my brother whose gone through something similar, then goes inside and locks the door so it's just me and my brother out on the deck. He doesn't say much. He doesn't really feel like talking, and thinks I should just do whatever I want anyway. I'm still furious inside. When my mom comes back out, she instantly launches into another lecture, but I am not having any of it. I march towards her, jaw set, and then just throw her to the ground. I keep punching her and whatnot, and then start strangling her. I'm just so mad, that I don't even care that I'm about to kill her. I'm on a basketball court. It's cement, outside with a tall fence around it, and surrounded by grass fields. I'm laying on the pavement, waking up. I'm so thirsty, and very groggy. There are people over me, helping me up. No one knows who I am, and I don't really know either. They say something about the soldiers being there soon, so we need to head back. I don't really know what any of that means, but I follow. The kids clear off the court and everyone starts treking across the grass to a building in the distance. I catch sight of someone in the trees to my right, and recognize her as my friend from the house. I'm still wearing my weird swimsuit thing, but I sneak away to meet with her in the forest anyway. She's glad to see me, saying she's been hiding out this whole time. We're trying to devise a plan for us to escape. Some time passes, but eventually we are discovered. Soldiers have come from the opposite direction, and are surrounding the court. There are more kids playing on it now. A bunch of people from the first group I'd met are now hurrying back to the court, weapons in hand. I don't know why, but I rush out into the midst of things. Both sides are fighting over me/trying to kill me, but I stay pretty much mute. I still feel all the pent up anger inside me from before, I just don't know what it's from. There's a bunch of fighting that I don't really remember, but the next thing I know it's nighttime, and the soldiers are gone. It's just the group from before. I can see the faint glow of the soldiers' compound in the distance, at the foot of the mountains. Someone is telling me to stay low, that they've got eyes everywhere. I don't really care. I want to get back to the trees and find my friend again. We hear planes flying over, right over us. The guy who had helped wake me up is pulling my arm, telling me to get on the ground. I don't really have much choice, stumbling to my knees. The ground is sandy, the grass having been torn up with all the foot traffic. A plane flies over, so close I can feel it's engine rumbling, and I spot something falling from it. I realize it must be a bomb. In a few seconds it makes impact, blowing up about 50 yards away. Three more planes fly over. Each bomb is closer to where I am. People are screaming and trying to scramble to safety. One is close enough that the blast washes over us, and the next is just feet from me. Somehow, I'm not hurt or injured by them at all. I can feel their heat and get hit by shrapnel, but it never kills me. It's still pretty disorienting, and while I'm trying to refocus myself, my friend comes and finds me. She tells us we've got to go. We start sprinting towards the soldiers' compound, away from the people are writhing on the ground in pain. Someone warns us that the soldiers are the bad guys, but the soldiers tell us that these rebels are the bad guys. We keep running. There are a lot of rebel people running too, and they're planning to exact revenge on the soldiers. When we get to the compound, the fighting has already started. We get inside and are running around, dodging the firefight. I don't know what we were looking for but I eventually passed out. I just remember being very very angry throughout this whole dream. I wanted to kill everyone, and just break and smash and ruin everything.