The choice I made/There is always Pain in Pleasure

Date: 8/6/2019

The dream was a long one, and I’m not going to include all of it. I’m going to skip to the part that matters. I was on my driveway, there was a group of teenagers there. Badboy types. Two or three guys and one girl. I went to talk with them and the main guy caught my eye, he was hot, for a guy. I started to flirt with him, he reciprocated. We bounced back and forth like it was a ping pong match. He was winning and so I sat on his lap, we entwined, and he leaned to kiss me playfully, but I leaned back. I have a boyfriend. I felt guilt creep into the back of my mind. Then the girl touched the small of my back. Her flirting began, and it was so much more tempting. I wanted to lean into it, lap up every word of it. Her bouncy brown curls went down her back in a cascade of aburn. Her hazel eyes glittered in the sun of the afternoon. She began to pull my shirt off, while I was still on the guy’s lap. He was getting impatient as to the fact that my attention had turned to her. Not here! I exclaimed. I couldn’t get undressed in my driveway! But no one was home. So I spun towards the girl and stood up off the guy’s lap and took her hand. I shrugged at the guy as if to say “she did it better, sorry, maybe next time”, then I lead her inside. I told her to choose a bed, we had four. She picked the yellow one in the sunniest room at the back of the house. We turned on this song, the song was bouncy, and all about sex. She bounced back onto the bed then pulled me down with her. Our bodies entwined and she began to pull my shirt off. I began to feel her, all over. She kissed my neck and I felt ecstatic. Euphoric. I summersaulted over her, then turned back so that my head hovered over her upside down head. Then we began to kiss. The kisses we soft, quick, light, but with a passion and a hunger I had never felt before. She then flipped around to meet me body to body again, but this time we were missing yet more clothing. When we entwined this time, it was sex, and with the force of her body I peaked, and she did too. But then I glimpsed something in the front window, balloon strings, and I heard a car pull away. I pulled away from her, and it took all the force I had, because she was a magnet, and I a mere paper clip. Her gorgeous brown gold eyes shined in the sunlight and I wanted to drink up her stare and wrap myself up in the scent of her hair forever, but I needed to investigate. I slid off the bed and slipped into the clothes that had piled on the floor, she sat up and looked at me, her pale skin vulnerable, her cheeks red. I told her what I saw, she got dressed in a hurry. I went to the door, opened it, stepped outside and saw with dismay and horror that our gazebo was covered with streamers and balloons, and a banner that said “Mary and Kate are getting married” for some reason this was as good as a declaration that we had sex as any, even though I wasn’t Mary, and she wasn’t Kate. That bastard! She exclaimed. It was left by the guy who I turned down. He was jealous. Spiteful. And my parents van was pulling into the driveway. I began to tear the streamers down, banner with them. But hey saw them. I pulled them all down within seconds but neighbors had gathered. The guy’s were back, jeering about how we had sex. About how the girl was no longer pious. And then I realized her mother was there. She was Hispanic, and she was catholic, and she was raging and began berating her daughter. She backed her into my kitchen and the girl was sobbing, begging. I knew I had messed up. I wanted so desperately to protect her, defend her, but I didn’t know how. I felt defeated. Crushed. And I knew that I had chosen her over my boyfriend. I felt bad. But I didn’t regret her. It. Anything. Except that it got her hurt. And now everyone knows. I may never get to see her again. I backed into the darkness and cried. I could still hear her mother yelling.