1. Two Dreams. Boyfriend.

Date: 6/7/2019

Background- my boyfriend, J. We’ve been together for 5 months almost. We’re in a part in our relationship where i think I’m starting to fall in love with him, however, he’s not there. (Which anyone who knows me knows I wrote a long paragraph explaining how I feel about this in my notes 🤪) Dream - I only remember bits and pieces to this strange dream. But it started as we were in bed together. I think it was at his own place. He still lives with his parents currently in the real world, but in the dream I just knew it was his own place, or his own place w roommates. We were just waking up, his arms wrapped around my body, my head on his chest. Listening to the calming sound of his heart beating. Feeling his breath gently on my neck. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I was in pure bliss. I felt safe. Happy and warm. I’m not usually a morning person, but when I wake up with him, I suppose I am because that’s my favorite place to be at. My favorite time quite honestly. We were talking, as we were in each other’s arms. I can’t remember quite what, but it somehow the conversation turned to him asking me to move in with him... I said that I’d love to, but also something along the lines of “do you wanna get married one day?” I’m not sure why I asked this but I did. However, he replied with, “I’m not sure if I see you as a wife.” I then woke up for a quick moment, looked around my bedroom, then quickly fell back asleep. My thoughts are - does this correlate with how I feel in our relationship? Is this a sign? Also why would you ask your girlfriend to move in, but not be sure if you see them as a potential wife... I’m adding this second dream in because they correlate. It was my mother’s birthday. She wanted to go to some huge outlet place and go shopping. It was my parents, and J. and I. The shops looked nice. I believe it was either about to rain/just ended raining. Or maybe it was coming to be night time. The sky was grey, but it gave a cool tone to the brick buildings of all the shops we were around. There were string lights hanging in between the buildings. It gave the scenery a lovely look. It was peaceful and calming. We were all just looking at the items in the stores. Buying whatever we saw that we liked. There was a part where another man got a little too close for comfort, and J. Protectively put his arm around me, guided me around him so I’m farther away from the man, and he’s closer to him, and told the man to get off. The strange man did so as told, and we continued to do our shopping as we were, but he still kept me close. I liked that. I like to feel that extra bit of protection. Especially from J. He makes me feel safe. Then it took a strange turn... we were in the doctors. This is the strangest doctors apt I’ve ever witnessed. The nurse called in J. ... She said that she needed to test his sperm. Not to test if it’s “good” or whatever, she just needed it for whatever reason... She said “I’m sorry your wife has to stay back here, so take your phone and look at pictures, and I’ll pretend to be her” - Which I found odd because were we married in the dream? I don’t know, I guess... and why wasn’t I allowed back there? Especially if I’m his wife ? Why would she “pretend to be me” that’s so weird. - I don’t think she touched him, but she was trying to imitate how I would sound during sex... I could hear her fake moaning my boyfriends name. I felt greatly uneasy. I tried to go into the room he was in, only to be kicked out and put back in the waiting room. The more I overheard, and overthought the whole situation, the more gross I felt. I left the waiting room, to take a walk. Maybe he’d be done by the time I get back. Hopefully.. I found 2 young boys, who ironically enough knew my boyfriend because he coaches them. They were telling me about how much they enjoy J. being their soccer coach, and how fun he is to be around. Of course this made my heart swell. That of course is a huge turn on. Having a boyfriend who’s good with kids. I help the boys find their parents, and I get one of the moms numbers. She asked me to babysit for her, and I said yes. I return to the waiting room, I see J. through a small window, he smiles softly and assured me that he’s almost done with the apt. I turn my head and I see my mother. She looks awfully ill. She’s in another room, laying on the hospital bed. She looks different. She’s lost a lot of weight. Her face looks long and sad. Her skin has turned pale. I felt bad. She said she was okay, that she just had to get some medication and she’s soon be able to come home. After talking to my mother I woke up... or I assume I did. I don’t remember anything happening beyond that point. How I feel about the dream - I’m not sure. I wonder if this correlates to how I feel about the relationships I have with J. and my mother. Perhaps. Or perhaps it was just some ordinary dream.