Carrying my husband 💑

Date: 11/19/2018

There was a lot of other bits and pieces in this dream, but the significant bit was this man who I discovered was my husband! He was very lovely, and was v pleased to see me as I was him as it seemed we’d had a bit of time apart (it was like, oh yes, of course I have a husband, meet my HUSBAND) Anyway a bit later I seemed to be walking with a group of people and I suddenly realised that I was physically carrying him in my arms - I was aware that I still wasn’t completely well, and that it was really just too much for me to carry him while I was walking....just walking was enough! But somehow it seemed I was meant to, expected to?? I didn’t begrudge it, I just knew I couldn’t keep it up any longer. I said to him, I’m sorry darling I just can’t carry you any longer, I know you’re tired but I just can’t do it. I wasn’t cross and he accepted it. I was genuinely sorry I couldn’t keep it up. I can’t recall if anyone else carried him then, the journey continued on and I don’t remember anything else about this relationship. There was other Stuff around the journey that we were on that seems random. It just interests me the thing about carrying the man – it’s like that’s what I felt I was doing with Matthew emotionally, in a small way only - but that’s what he needed from a woman. Thankfully it never went beyond friendship. Not that it was much of a friendship really. I was kidding myself. Anyway that’s what it seems like I feel I need to do with men, to be the strong one ...like I think that’s what’s expected of me – and I really can’t do that....it’s unsustainable. We need to be there for each other. I need a man it be strong for me. I don’t know how to be different. Maybe I just need a different kind of man to be interested in me. Have they just been wrong types? I don’t know. I feel like it’s my subconscious saying, enough!!