Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 1/23/2017
By Fitful
I was living with a group of unusual characters. Many were gay, we were together for a common thing like we were in school together, or all actors working on a movie, or a family perhaps. Or all of those somehow. During the course of our time together I began to feel more and more uncomfortable. I felt something was wrong, that everything was wrong. I was full of angst and sullen, like a teenage. Actually I was a teenager. I was actually gay ( lesbian cause I am a girl) and feeling it was wrong and they were trying to reassure me it wasn't. I had a boyfriend, his name was Wes and he just broke up with me. Then he moved far away. My father (I think he was my movie father) wasn't happy about me dating boys anyway and was glad) I retreated into a sulk, skipped school for the day, and occasionally throughout the day people checked on me but it became more and more clear I was sick. I had skipped school (possibly like shooting for a film that day instead I think we were or could have all been actors) and said I was sick but I started out just sulking and sad, then I was shaking and sick and those people check on me had cause to worry. I tried to get back into the swing of things, I didn't like their concern, but they all discovered they loved working on a farm, where we currently were. Suddenly everyone there felt like it was their lifelong purpose, to work busily on a farm. I think it's highly possibly these were actors filming on a farm and actually clueless previously to the concept of farm hard labor. That is what the dream implies. I even felt it too, suddenly I felt this pull to fall into the very comfy roll of being on a farm and working harder than I ever had in my life, and it feeling really good, like the more I took up my role (movie role) the more I felt like I belonged. It thought it was was disgusting. Then I ended up in the hospital because I collapsed and was actually really sick. In the hospital I kept getting visitors, and then finally my real family was found living in a fictional town. My best friend smuggled me that information. When I say fictional I mean it, it literally had a made up name. Apparently Wes lived there too now. I didn't know if it was part of the movie story plot or my own real story. I really think my fixation on Wes was me trying too hard to be straight, and believing my own lie. But as an angst sullen teen it's hard to tell. I was much better about 24 hours later but still stuck in the hospital. They were worried that I hadn't been taking the psychotropic drugs the psychologist prescribed. Actually they didn't know I hadn't been taking them as I lied but were worried they couldn't detect them in my system and wanted to keep me and up the dose. I was plotting with my best friend and her mother to get me out of the hospital and town, I was going to run away to find my real family. Her mother did manage it, she somehow made my social security number seem like I had a different one, or something had been wrong all along and now was correct, and i was about to run away. I was upset about Wes living there, but that could have been part of the fiction movie plot.