My Cousin I Don't Know At All

Date: 2/20/2020

I was at my aunt and uncle's house watching TV with my younger cousin, who had just moved back in after graduating college. We were eating pizza, and I was very very hungry. I was so hungry that I could eat a whole pizza myself, but I didn't want to be greedy, or be seen as a pig. I had two slices and watched as my cousin nibbled on her one, which she only ate half of and threw the rest of it away because it had mushrooms on it. I was upset how she would waste food like that, especially since I was so hungry, but I put it out of my mind and figured I would order Hungry Howies on the way home. Afterwards, we sat at the table and started watching BTS videos. I didn't know that my cousin liked BTS, and she didn't know I liked them either, but I wasn't going to admit that I did still. I wanted to keep it a secret since that side of my family is kind of racist and close minded, so I didn't want the word to get out to everyone and to have my favorite Korean Group get belittled to my face, just like how when I was obsessed with Green Day and was teased belligerently about liking a "tree hugger" group (even though Green Day is named after weed, but idk, it still happened). Anyway, we were watching BTS, when suddenly three 30-year-old Asian men walked in. One of them kissed my cousin on the lips, but it was a weird, bad kiss. His mouth was open and he even got her nose. Apparently that was her boyfriend, and the other two were his buddies who suddenly weren't there anymore, and she introduced me. "Have you met my boyfriend?" She asked. "I don't think so," I replied. "Yeah you did!" the boyfriend said "At her graduation!" he looked really mad. I then recalled my cousin's college graduation five years prior, and remembered seeing him but never spoke to him, or got close enough to him to hear him speak. "Yeah, you were the one with the bandana," he added. "I-I suppose," I figured I could have worn a bandana, but I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to argue anymore. Eventually, they both left and locked themselves in their room, and I let myself out and headed home, deciding not to pick up pizza. I wondered if my cousin was a Koreaboo, since she was only 21 (despite apparently graduating college 5 years ago), and dating a 30 something Asian man, while her previous boyfriends were young, white trash boys. I decided to put their relationship to the test! When I got home I went into the woods in my backyard. I wondered who my cousin's BTS bias was, and decided to call out his name. After about three called, a deer pranced out of the woods toward me, and it had Kim Taehyung's face. It was a disturbing sight, but not nearly as disturbing as the wolf that jumped from out of nowhere and grabbed the deer by the throat with its teeth. I scream and grabbed a large, felled branch, and started beating the wolf off of him. Inbetween blows, the wolf started trying to go after me, but eventually I had beated it to death. Then, all of a sudden I was no longer in the woods , but high up on a ferris wheel. The person sitting neside me was Jin, my BTS bias. I had no idea what was going on, and he started freaking out and shaking our seat, causing me to be afraid to fall to our death. But then Dr. Eggman flew by in one of his robot vehicles and started shooting lasers around us. That made Jin stop shaking the ferris wheel and instead we both cowered in fear in hopes not to die.