I just don't understand

Date: 2/16/2018

So I was going back home from school, doing weird stunts and flips, and for some reason I felt very light (as if gravity was weaker.) When I came home, I realized that I was so tall that I had to crawl to fit in the living room. Then I accidentally knocked over the wall, I quickly called a goddamn Leprechaun to fix the wall before my neighbors call the police...