They always reject you right when you learn to trust.

Date: 5/28/2019

By Fitful

I was a child again. A teenager? I had been adopted I guess. A man and his wife and their daughter tad taken me in. It was a place near NYC but less city like, more rural. The village where I attended college was like something in another country, dirt patches and charming little buildings looking like Chinese temples/houses. Their house was a grand thing. I got my own room. They were well off. But I was very angry. I was determined to hate everything. I was very loud and noise about it. I was disruptive. Argumentative. Rebellious. I didn't pay much attention in class, my stepsister kept trying to keep me on point. I ignored her. One day in class things changed. I had been doing the same as before feeling so angry. I knew it would break soon. I knew soon I'd lose it, and be empty and vulnerable and sweet but I didn't want to yet. I needed to fight. The teacher was reading a lecture, numbers in other languages and some history of maybe Huns or a people like the Huns. I hadn't been listening but something csught my ear and I asked the teacher to clarify. She asked sarcastically if I had done the reading. I hadn't even opened my book but then I did. It was kinda too late, she had noticed me. She came over commented on my hair. Asked me to stand up so she could see me. I was wearing a black dress that flared out. She asked if I was Mexican, that asking as a statement thing, and I said my dad was hispanic. She then asked a few more questions and stopped a minute to pet my hair. Then she scratched behind my left ear, the actual ear itself, like I was a dog. I went back to my seat feeling odd. It had felt good. Maybe I was a dog? Some human dog hybrid. I sat feeling baffled. She then handed me a dollar bill. She told me to write and say the number one in other languages on it, then burn it. I would be granted great wealth. I told her I would. She asked if I knew what she meant and I hastily assured her I'd been practicing for a while and that I could. I opened my book and listened to the rest of the lecture. I learned some stuff and I left feeling much lighter. On the way home a patch of grass in front of one of those adorable chinese/hobbit like homes caught fire. It raced around and people rushed to put it out, but no one was much concerned they way they would be irl. I felt I was a sign. I had to burn that dollar... But i hadn't written down any numbers on it yet. I had opened my book to the right page, it was page 245, but I had only just started reading the passage down on the bottom before class ended. I had the urge to throw it in the flame but I didn't want to do the spell wrong. So I didn't and we walked on instead. At home I was glad to see both my new adopted parent couple in the same space. I didn't want to be too soft too soon, I still had some anger but it was dying now I had a purpose. Instead I gave them something I knew would make them happy. I announced I might like college. It was surly and I didn't smile but there was euphoric feeling around it and I knew it would make them happy so I left them with that. It was a subtle signal to them things would change, I was going to accept them. Time would tell. All was looking up. I needed numbers in other languages so I went into my stepsisters room and borrowed a couple of her thick old books. They were very old, maybe should be in a ln expensive old library. A blonde woman, I think she was Brianna of Tarth, a fellow student but she was an adult and much taller than me, came to visit. She wanted advice or help with something. I agreed but raced to find the numbers and write them down first. I sat at a table in the basement, which was just a large space they used for parties. It was empty and I spread out all my books and the dollar on the table. It turned out it had been written on a binder sheet. It looked like a real dollar, had been real before, and I didn't think it was suspicious. I had to write this spell. It turns they were having a party. Two gay guys in purple pastel wigs like Victorian Era complete with vintage purple clothes showed up, sat kinda like they were surrounding me lounging in chairs legs spread wide, and began chatting at me. I had commented angryily about sjws and they had over heard and came to challenge that. I continued to say my peace, about sjws and pc culture, but then they began talking jibberish and attacking cattily with questions that make no sense to the conversation or were about stuff I hadn't learned yet. Honestly I couldn't tell the difference. I thought they were speaking nonsense, but I had been ignoring the lectures up until now. What if some unknown politics were what they were referring to? Feeling ignorant and unable to hold my own in a debate I got mad, my default, and got uo storming uo to one threated to kick them both in the balls and told them to leave my house. The order was very loud and echoed throughout the house and felt like it echoed throughout my body as well. It felt good, like I had finally accepted this was my home with that order. So I sat back down to help the blonde woman and my stepsister found me. She was upset I had taken her books, they were very very old, expensive, and fragile which I knew and didn't think should be in her pretty bedroom anyway, and furious I had told the gay guys to leave. It appears they were here specifically to do some business with her parents. I'd ruined that and it was the last straw. She then told me they'd made arrangements for me to go stay elsewhere. They were kicking me out. Now. Just when I accepted I was safe, just when I was happy and about to thrive at school, just as I had internally softened. Why didn't they do it yesterday when my armor was still up? After she left I was frantic to do the spell. The blonde woman left too, uncomfortable now, and I used my step sisters computer which was right there to go online and find the numbers quicker. I had to do the spell right now to get some wealth. If I was kicked out again I needed that money. She didn't go online much, here they rarely did. I expected some dialup connection but it went right on. I tried opening up another tab with chrome and did but the anime she had been watching was still playing. I went to turn it off and found the source of her deep love for this one anime character. She didn't look as... caricature in the anime honestly. In real life adaption and cosplays she was much meaner, a bully IMO, a black girl with green hair who dressed like sailor something and walked around high school like she owned the place. My step sister worshiped her and had posters everywhere in her room. I turned it off but I think then I had a flashback. I saw a video replace the anime, a hallucination actually in my head play out, then it was as if I was there. I was a small child, wealthy and well dressed sent money to a little hovel where I was paid to be cared for. The man there, either the one who paid money for my care or the one who recieved it was in a conversation with another man, maybe online. Or were the two men talking, one who paid for NY care to the one who recieved? Idk but they were talking about child sex pets. Thats what I was, a pet. I was very young. I had been dressed up in some wealthy costumes, maybe similar to that anime, and the man who owned me fucked me. I thought it was normal and he was my father just never around much. I was always in another's care, I thought he was wealthy and off doing business because he was always away. He sent money and I saw him occasionally. Anyway the conversation was about how the other man, the one who didn't own me, had two little pets, a boy and a girl. His methods of training were detailed in a rather aristocratic way, similar to the way the gay guys spoke. I saw them on the video, they huddled together looking frail and cowed. They let him touched their face, pet them, as if it was normal but they shook when he did. I felt, the child version in the past, felt it was normal. The older me seeing the flashback was horrified.