i keep dreaming of forced things

Date: 8/6/2020

i had a strange dream, i was marrying this older guy and i was super conflicted because i’m still i minor. he promised me a better life, a stable one mind you. i kept arguing with him, saying that i’m still a teenager, i want to be one! i want to experience my first boyfriend, my first job, my first everything. just not with him, because i wasn’t ready to settle down yet. i was at a barbecue with family while this was happening. at the same time, victor came into my house, heart broken because he had broken up with shamil. why? because i think he had feelings for me or soemthing. except he was way too upset with himself to even look or spend time with me. so he left, excusing himself and leaving my house. the rest of the time i spent arguing with this older man. i’m 17, he mustve been like 30 something. yikes...