Dual Awareness

Date: 4/20/2016

I usually wake up in the middle of the night to have a smoke. It's become a part of my habit at this point. After discovering that this was essential to WILDing, it became more of a blessing than a curse. Last night, I woke up, smoked, stumbled to bed, and started trying MILD and FILD. It kind of worked, but it was a strange sensation. I had this double awareness of myself in the void, trying to RC and stabilize, and myself in bed, not moving at all. It was kind of exciting, because I knew I was on the edge of the two, about fall in to a world I wanted to experience and create within. I fell the wrong way. I woke up after about 40 minutes. The feeling was gone, and I couldn't get it to return. Nor could I stabilize while I was in between. I tried rubbing my hands and spinning and RCs, but nothing helped me solidify within the dreamscape.