The Banana Escape

Date: 7/4/2019

So I planned an elaborate lorry heist where a hijack driver would stow away above the driver and was wearing a mask for disguise, which was just the actor from ‘It’s all gone Pete Tong’s’ face. Anyway we nearly get away with it but we need to take a hostage as she saw us stealing the lorries merchandise so we stowed her where the hijack driver was previously hiding. She was beautiful and blonde. We get back to our safe house and we allow her to go to the toilet. We realise she’s text or called the police to alert them after busting the door open and grabbing her phone from her. Around three police descend on the house and cable tie my accomplices in the living room. I’m in another wing (it’s a fancy hideout) and am confronted by the main police guy, I know this cos he looks smart like I can’t get out of this one. Anyway I tell him I need a poo and he says ‘go there’ and I say fuck off man I’ll go in this bathroom right here just wait outside the door for me, I cant escape, I’m only wearing socks. We both look down at my white trainer socks and he smirks at me like he kinda realises there’s no way anyone could escape without any shoes on. So I go in the toilet, raise a blind and jump out the window. By now the location of the nice hideout house has turned into the area I grew up as a kid, so I knew it like the back of my hand. I’m off running down alleyways looking back to only the dust I was leaving behind. I run toward my primary school and a weird crowd of costumes people in banana suits are having a street party. As I run closer they form a kind of tunnel which I jog through, touching the hands of each banana either side of me like I’m finishing a marathon. As I get mid banana tunnel, I hear police sirens bellowing past, and I slow, I get to the end of the banana tunnel, turn back and see blue lights going toward my getaway route. I’m home and dry. I run toward a cash point to empty my bank and plan to fly to Vietnam where they can’t extradite me.