I often have nightmares of being pregnant or having a baby. In this dream I gave birth to premature twins. One was dead at birth and taken away from me. I held one of them and was filled with love. But when I looked down at him again, I had accidentally killed him and he was taken away, too. I found out I had a 3 year old daughter I had never met. Her father was my ex boyfriend. I wanted to see her. When I saw her I was filled with love. I could see her father's features in her face. I wanted her. But she did not love me because I had not been a part of her life. She was being raised by adoptive parents. I wanted to hug her, but she left me. All of this took place in a hospital bed. I cried.