Bird

Date: 1/14/2019

I was on the isle of Wight that wasn't actually the isle of Wight, a parallel universe. After the beach we went across the road to the public gardens, it was very old, from the 18th century. I found a white bird that had been cut with a knife, it's organs severed but it was still alive. I was trying to save it, I could hold it's organs together and it was saving it. I turned to Paula, Chris, mum and esme and asked them to call the animal hospital. But none of them would. I was holding the bird in my hands, I was covered in its blood. The organs of the bird wouldn't stay together so I wrapped my hands around it to keep it warm nd comfortable and begged someone to call an ambulance. I wasn't angry at them, just distraught. I remember esme being the only one trying to help me save the bird and even then she wasn't really trying, there was no urgency to it. I remember being back at the gardens, holding the bird and mum coming over to see. She saw the blood and organs and got annoyed with me that I showed her and walked away, paula and Chris were silent. I remember Paula coming over and leaning over my shoulder to see and me looking up at her and saying it's not breathing anymore. It's heart isn't beating anymore. Like a kid when they see death, confusion and innocent trauma. I remember feeling this overwhelming grief and just crying. I kept apologising because I had let the bird die, I could have saved it but I didn't. I resented the others, blamed them but still no anger or emotion. I resented them and said, why didn't you help me? It's your fault it died, if you had just helped me it would have survived.