My sister's death

Date: 5/12/2017

Last night I had a dream that my sister died. This was the most realistic dream I have ever had. It was a normal night coming home from work except I had my little sister, Alex in the car with me. This part is weird but I remember for whatever reason I pictured Stewie Griffin from Family guy in the car instead for a period of time but I knew it was actually my sister. And then out of nowhere, BAMG!... From what it had stemmed to be from no direction, I hear a gunshot and I look over and see a bullet hole right between my sister's eye's. I stoped the car right in the middle of the road and picked her up. My body riddled with panic and confusion, I held my 11 year old sister's almost lifeless body in my arms only to realize she still had a pulse. Immoderately I put her down and steped on the gas and started to head straight to the hospital. I remember speeding down the highway with ambulances and cops in front of and behind me almost escorting me there as if they already knew what was going on. Then, before I knew It, everything went black. My consciousness returned out of nowhere in the middle of what looked like me making food at a counter. Like I didn't just wake up in bed, I returned to reality in the middle of a daily task. My hearing slowly fades back in and I hear a voice talking to me. It's my mom. I look to my right and she's right there talking to me like we've been having a conversation for a while. I immediately stopped her and said, "What?, Wait Mom what's going on? What am I doing?" She looked shocked and said, "What? What do you mean?" I instantly remember what had happened before I blacked out and I said, " What happened to Alex mom? Is she okay?" She looked at me with what first looked like confusion and then understanding. She said, "Oh no Erik", and put her hand on my back. At this point, I was pretty sure I knew what was going on. The way she was consoling me made me realize that I've had this conversation with her before. I must have had some kind of amnesia from the time my sister got shot in the head until this point. I asked her, " Mom is Alex dead?" She said, " Yes" I mediately dropped Everything that was in my hands, sat down and started balling. My mom ended up telling me that everything had happened exactly a week ago. That she died in the hospital soon after she got there. I spent the next week of my life (only about an hour in dream time) trying to live with this. Trying to accept the fact that my 11 year old sister, who had her whole life ahead of her, was dead and that I would never see her again. Combine that with the fact that I had what wad most likely amnesia and lost a weeks worth of memories and that It could happen again at any point, these were some of the worst feelings I've ever felt and It was in a dream. But it felt like reality. "Why would this happen? Why? Could it have been my fault somehow? She was in my car.", my mind would say."No you can't think like that.", I told myself. I Woke up out of no where and It took me a good minute to realize I was dreaming. I woke up thinking my sister was still dead and that I'd have to get up and deal with another day like that. When I realized It was a dream I was the most relieved I'd ever felt. That was on of the most intense moments of my life and It was in a dream. felt the need to write about it right after.