Nuclear birthday party

Date: 3/4/2019

I’m a little younger than I am now, on a skiing holiday with my family. It’s my birthday. We’re in a resort but everything is quite hazy. I’m close to my mum. I feel very sad, nothing is going quite right. We’re at a patisserie stand now. Mum is ordering a few different things. I feel very sad. At first I don’t want to order but cave and ask for a chocolate custard slice. The dream cuts to my birthday party, a few friends have been invited and dad is leading some kind of game. I feel embarrassed and kind of in my own world. Not like the other boys. Dad’s efforts and the whole scene seem so tragic, he’s trying so hard. I hurt myself so other people know how I’m feeling, I end up away from the party now. There’s snowy ground and I’m halfway up a hill. The powder is thick and perfect I ski down it. The dream cuts to a chairlift across a valley, I’m on one side with another person. I think my sister is on the other with my parents. They’re expecting and waiting for me to come across but I turn and run off. (I’m seeing this as third person) It takes a while for them to get the news I’ve been lost. I see myself running through snow. Now I’m in a hangar of sorts, not as myself but as an observer. It’s military style, a refuge centre after a big event. Turns out a nuclear bomb got dropped and just happened to be near enough to where the young me ran off. A tragedy! Young me is lost. The leader at this centre shows me a tall upright glass panel, it’s a few inches thick and inside is an entire nervous system. Either veins or nerves. It’s all they could recover from little me. I’m told my parents decided to choose this option and keep a part of me alive. I look closely and there’s a hole around the chest area. The whole dream was so sad and I felt so sad on behalf of my parents, so sorry for them.