Jackson again

Date: 6/21/2016

I was in a cafeteria with everyone that I was friends with and I was having a melt down like when he left and I was begging him to talk to me about everything and finally I got him to talk to me after following him around like a puppy dog as pathetic as it is and then he said he loves me again and then laughed but he didn't look like his current ugly state he looked like the Jackson I knew in school the one I really loved. I woke up feeling pathetic and pissed off. Why am I still subconsciously thinking about him... He is like a fat pig with a mop on his head and he is a selfish person and I don't love him when I am actually conscious because I don't have feelings for him but why can't I shake these dreams!