Eden Restored?

Date: 6/14/2019

I was with a friend, an ex, I was with Laura. She took me to this garden where she worked. I feared I didn't belong there. I didn't know how to work, nor did I feel capable. I also had a baby, a new baby I just had a few days or weeks ago. How would I take care of a baby and work? I sat on the ground where I landed when we came in. Laura looked happy, very very happy. She was happy to see me and happy I was here. I looked around. This garden was a building, a white building, but so large you couldn't see to the other side of it. It stretched for miles, maybe continents. It was clearly built by human hands, the closet I was resting against looked like lumber and good craftsmanship to me. It had been painted white in places, other left beautiful wood color. It looked brand new. The sky was artificial, bright blue and shining with light like on the best weather day. I looked around and people worked happily, doing gardening. I remembered I had always wanted to learn gardening but I was bad at it. I killed plants. I had a black thumb. Then I wondered wistfully if maybe I could learn. I imagined working here and being happy and the baby learning to walk. He was so small I couldn't imagine him walking. He remained tucked against my stomach in a carry thing. Laura was happy I was here. As I stayed and took up a place she often came to check on me but she didn't stay. She never stayed she was so happy and busy and running around. She wanted me in that place with her but she didn't need me, or seek to be with me, or feel romantically towards me. It was like she was asexual but in a spiritual way, at least words me. I felt a bit floored by this as she was just a flirt and loved to talk to everyone about everything and she had romantic and sexual relationships. She seemed to revel in being in this place. The first time I was there, the first day I got a tour. It repeated after I had been there a while, a few months? This was the official tour. I was there as the tour guide lead a group of people through. "This is widely considered to be the original garden, where all life sprang from..." She want on to talk about the plants in the garden. In actuality this small space she spoke of was like an atrium, it was literally the smallest stopping point when going through the building in the middle of this part of the garden. The building was white and gardenesque. It felt as if it were open to the sky as much as it was a visible roof. The walls also felt this way, as if they were there and not there. The escalator which led up to this atrium part went past a small waterfall or a rolling down hill river, artificial of course on a trench bed like in a Tomb Raider movie only white marble. Laura was there, or showed up suddenly. She was so happy to see me. She was glad I was here, like I was hers now that I was here, but she wandered off again. I felt very very self conscious. Someone, a tourist maybe, snapped my picture. I was very Gothic dressed, black on black and I had my shawl cape thing on. I felt intensely uncomfortable... then the feel snapped and the woman who had taken it was gushing about how she loved the look. She was gushing about me, more than my clothing, me. We talked, briefly, and it was heartfelt connection even in that brief time. I got the impression as I woke up Laura had given me to her. I was given away but not in a rejection type way but with joyful love and genuine happiness for me. ~ Later, or maybe this scene was in the middle of the garden life. I was sitting with a woman in an office who told me I had to go back to the homeless shelter and sign a certificate. I had forgotten to sign something and I now I had to go back and do it all over again. It wouldn't take as long but I just needed to sign the certificate with something that had been forgotten. ~ I also had a dream of a house, my house, one I was living in. It's vague but I recall lots and lots of Gothic chairs in one room. I loved them and just kept keeping them as they happened to get acquired.