yucky feelings

Date: 8/2/2019

July 15 2019 i was in my kitchen with ava and this brown guy, don't remember his name but it was my first time meeting him -also i think there was a party going on, i think it was night or evening outside, and i felt like it was someone elses party/house and not mine but it looked like my house -anyway so ava introduces me as everett and i said something but i dont remember what it was and the guy was like “oh, thats right [deadname]” and i was like ‘bruh how do u even know my deadname.. never met this dude...’ and ava didnt even correct him and neither did i but thats not the point -ava didnt say anything and idr but i think she just started going along with the she pronouns and shit?? and she seemed guilty or embarrassed that she had to go along w the pronouns/have a trans friend and i just felt v dysphoric wowowowowow