My Ex that I haven't Physically Seen in Years Suddenly Shows up to one of my Therapy Groups

Date: 2/12/2019

By fluffytree

In my first dream I was in my current house in the attic hanging out with my family but irl there is no attic in this house. There was one in our old house and that's what this looks alot like. It was also around the middle of July and I was reminiscing about how last year that time we were packing up to move and it made me miss our old place. I grew up there on that corner and had been living there since I was 12 so I dream about it occasionally even 7 months later. My brother and sister mention how one of their old classmates just died and I feel sorry for that person and that they had to learn that cos they're only 25 and still fairly young adults. I think one of their other friends came over at that point but the dream began getting visually confusing and falling apart, which then turned into a whole new scene. In this particular dream I was in India attending one of my emotional support groups for anxiety/depression. I didn't question why I was suddenly in India but I was just in the moment and marveled at how beautiful the scenery was outside. Most of the faces I recognize, some were people that attended back in the summer months when I first started coming, older members who I'd only met twice and don't attend anymore. But then I saw this new person arrive and immediately knew it was my ex. She was soo skinny though. I know she's always wanted to lose alot of weight ever since I met her even though she would always look more than fine in my eyes but I feel like she got a little too thin this time around. She's tall too at 5'9" but her low weight made her seem more fragile and petite. She also said several times irl how she thought about doing this if we weren't talking anymore, to just stalk me online to see where I'd be and randomly but quietly show up to observe me. That's why this incident only mildly surprises me. Anyway I don't make eye contact and neither does she and she sits down. I turn back around to focus on the person speaking and we then move into yoga lessons, something we've never done in here. We go through a few basic poses and then end it with us prone on the floor doing some sort of pose that I've only seen on Buddha statues and in paintings of him. It was hard to do and I don't think I ever fully learned it. Afterwards we have a discussion about behaviors in society and this middle-aged white woman mentions something about how she's so used to living in her all white suburban community and feels afraid of any sort of change but also feels a little guilty. I'm not a fan of what I'm hearing but at least she's being honest and seems to be trying to work on being more racially open. The group ends shortly after that and I see my ex immediately get up to leave. I get held up for a few minutes but I wanna catch up to her to talk. It's raining outside and when I go out the back it looks just like my aunt's backyard. I don't see her anywhere so I go back in to look from the balcony. Still nothing. She must've left that quickly. I decide to call her half thinking she probably won't pick up but she does and she's proud of herself for actually showing up like she always said she would. I ask if she's staying in town. Truthfully I'd like to hang out again even if it's not a good idea. I admit I'm also low-key thinking about wanting to sleep with her again too. We seem to be cordial and I'm glad, but then I start becoming lucid and remember our last conversation irl not being so great. I came off as uncaring and insensitive and she thought I hated her which I don't. The dream call gets dropped and I'm just standing there in complete silence. I wake up after that.