E's old friends and a new one.

Date: 6/10/2020

I don't remember much as it's hours after the dream occurred, but E and I were living in this dilapidated barn house. Same old dark tones to the dream, but this one had a very dark feeling as well. I remember I was very sick feeling, but E wanted to go out and because I felt bad for him not getting to ever go out, I decided to go with him. He seemed displeased with me going. We got outside of some restaurant and 2 girls show up. I don't know if they were old girlfriends or not, but I knew immediately that they had a sexual history. They were hanging all over him, glaring at me. I felt so sick. So tired. So angry that he would put me through that. At some point, we ended up at a our dilapidated home and a young man (late teens) shows up. He was gangly with dark hair, but beautiful and androgynous. He is flirting with E while the woman keep glaring at me. At one point I look over to find them stroking each others sex's. I asked E what the fuck he was doing and he looks at me and says "whatever I want". Then, everyone took ecstasy pills, with this tone of hahaha FUCK YOU because my heart could not handle them. I just remember feeling so sick. As they all started making out and sucking each other off, I got up and started screaming at E "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME" plus some other things I can now not remember. He was so fucked up and lost in the young man that he didn't answer me, but the dark haired woman spoke up for him. They told me to leave. That E no longer wanted me anymore. That I was boring and holding him back in life. They chased me down some stairs which I ended up falling down and out the front door into the dark night. I was crying, wandering across an empty field with power lines over head. Listening to the buzzing following a path on foot. Stumbling and sobbing thinking "what have I done?" I kept thinking about him fucking everyone in our home, not giving a shit about me being sick. Him being stuck with me. Him finally giving up on me. How much of a burden I must be for him to do what he was doing. Then that was it. I woke up.