Not Enough Information

Date: 5/22/2017

By Fitful

I was dating someone, a guy, and we were living in a town. He walked into a suit shop to rent for an event and came out with a job. I contemplated working at Rite Aid, since it was nearby, and I was bravely(or perhaps just without fear: like ambivalence) just putting in my applications in everywhere. There was a moment on a bridge, where a dog came between us, it was a soft sweet dog, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and it both seemed happy to see me with a tail wagging, and growling teeth bared preattack. I couldn't get close to him, he was speaking to a girl whom we were acquainted with. Later, we were talking about having an argument, in a let's make up a future way, and spoke about having an argument which split us and me moving off to the city and it being years before we tried to reconcile... As we spoke it though it became true and I found myself in that future, with an angry so hard it pushed me forward and refused to look back for him. The hurt became genuine, hard ad diamond, although neither of us recalled the argument which supposedly split us up. (This entire dream while I was aware of who I was, was from the guys point of view, as if was looking over his shoulder) ~~~ I was online, maybe it was a phone thing, and in the dream I removed a block so my ex Laura could talk to me. I became aware, although we didn't have a conversation or type at each other, that she wanted to speak to me again. See me again. Be with me again was implied. They all implied the other, it always has between us. Hence the reason I keep her blocked. I imagined just skipping the phonecall and showing up on her door, her opening it to see me. I litterally saw this event play out, and the surprise on her face, the embarrassment crawling over my body, and the fact I had nothing to say at all. In fact there is nothing I want from her, it just what I feel, there in my chest. I decided not to do it, while in the dream. It was too embarrassing, nothing had much changed, and she was too surprised to see me. It made me feel rejected just by the surprise and emotion she felt. ~~~ I was looking into the blackness and really close to my face, just appearing abruptly, was my own face framed by long black straight hair. I looked like some egyptian queen. I laughed and thought that's not right, I just cut my hair. And it left. Then it appeared again and I had the same thought. ~~~ I was reading a speech as someone was giving it. It was also on this expanse of pure blackness, not even the star flecked black of space when you watch the intro of star wars, but utter blackness like behind your eyes. It was a long speech, and the voice givjg it was male and eloquent. I was agreeing in an, I'm having epiphanies, way. This happened twice, two different speeches of information.