Another chance to changed

Date: 4/4/2017

I dreamed that I was very busy doing my work, I was running around seeing patients that I had taken the responsibility for their health and wellbeing. At one point I realized that I was overwhelmed with this responsibility and was trying to see who did not need the service I was providing. I made a decision not to visit a patient and was calling the facility that she resides to ask about her wellbeing, I explain my situation to the nurse and told them I would come in as soon as I got a chance. Although I had taken one person off my schedule I still had about six others to see, I kept telling the relatives of these people how sorry I was for being late for my appointments. They were very polite and told me they knew it must be very hard to take care of my child and have a full time job. .... (now all of this seems very natural to the person in the dream, but at times I found that I the dreamer was very confused and scared, I know I am not a doctor but the person in the dream(me) was a doctor and seemed to know what they were doing, I kept thinking that she is going to make a mistake that would cause someone to die or get hurt, but she was very competent. At times we merged together and I was the person in the dream other times I was an observer , very strange). My life was one big rush, always very busy. I was visiting one patient when I got a call to say the person who I had stopped going to see had died, I was very distraught by this news and told them I was on my way and that I would call the family, I finished my visit to the patient and proceeded to the place where my patient had died. Her family was there when I arrived, I gave them my condolences and apologies for not being there, they also told me they knew I was very busy and was grateful for all I did for their family member. I on the other hand felt wretched. ( guilty) Shortly thereafter I awoke. In reality ,I knew all those people who I was taking care of, they have all died. In my dream I did not know that they were dead. These are people that I have had the pleasure of being their friend and a part of their care team. It makes me wonder what this dream is about, could it be that I need to slow down and take time for my family?, take time for myself?, stop trying to save everyone?????. Or could this just be another one of my reality where I'm just as confused there as I'm here. What do you guys think?.