Boys on Bikes

Date: 4/30/2019

I'm walking around the block near mum and dad's. I'm carrying a long chocolate eclair - probably 1m long. It's wrapped in white paper, like fish and chips are wrapped in. Cream is flying out the top left, right and centre, more like a cartoon than anything. I seem to be experiencing the dream whilst simultaneously watching myself in the dream. 3 or 4 young boys on bikes, maybe 14-15 years old ride past me. They're yelling out, being loud and obnoxious. I don't remember what they said - nothing rude or mean, it was just typical teenager carrying on. This was frustrating me. They rode past again and then the ring leader (brown hair, black singlet, black bike - that's all I know) apparently rode his bike too close to me. This infuriates me. I scream at him (scream - not speak loudly, not yell, full schizophrenic scream) something along the lines of fuck off or ill throw my eclair at you... They ride off. I keep walking. Then they come back. I flip out and throw my eclair at the ring leader. I watch it spin in the air in slow motion and instantly regret it... as I was really enjoying the eclair. He seems to dodge the eclair and it sort of stops short of hitting the ground. I think it hovered there, still spinning and I picked it back up. Stoked - I've got my eclair, it doesn't seem to be damaged and the cartoon cream is still endlessly squirting from the top of it. I'm happy. Then - boys ride back past. I've had it. In what can only be described as psychotic rage, with the knife I've suddenly acquired, I stab the ringleader - 4 times in the chest. I've stabbed him just below the neck and because of his singlet I can see his skin. It seems the first 3 stabs have just nicked him, but the 4th... It's only as wide as my kitchen knife but it's deep. I know it's deep. I can see blood bubbling up from inside and it starts to flow down his chest. Slowly at first. Now it's all real. I'm panicking. I can't believe I've just stabbed this kid. What the fuck was I thinking. He'll be okay. Actually he probably won't even notice he's been stabbed. And if he does, I doubt he will even remember what I look like or know who I am... Jesus what are people going to think about this... I'm definitely going to jail this is attempted murder. By now, I've walked off. I'm walking down the hill away from the boys. I'm walking calmly but I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Suddenly another thought... Fuck it. I'll be right. It doesn't even matter. I genuinely don't even care. What ever happens happens. And with that thought - I calm right the fuck down. Anxiety is gone. I've 100% accepted my situation and I'm totally fucking cool with it.