Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 12/30/2022
By Swords
G, me and are kids as babies are off to get vaccines and then a show. The Ice Capades are in Town and it's free. My new boyfriend, who seems really gentle and smart, is meeting us. We all seem to be friends. "You have your OHIP card?" G asks. Yes. My bank card and my OHIP in my cell phone case, in my pocket. We park at the vaccine clinic by the Mall and decide to walk to the Ice Capades - just across the highway South of the Mall, really more of a Main Drag than a highway thru Town, then across a snowy goldenrod field kitty-corner to the theater. We cross the highway and G decides it's further than he thought so we should take a bus. "How much further?" I ask. Maybe we should take the car. I'm carrying two babies because we're too poor to buy a stroller. He has J, our toddler, by the hand. "Just a ways," he says, vaguely. I don't trust him and sense danger. There's hundreds waiting for the bus. I can't see all the kids and start looking, panicking. Find J with G and then have to go back for the babies but D has wandered off. I'm getting upset and my new boyfriend says, "I have never seen this side of you." I'm thinking, how is that possible? "Do you even know what bus stop we're going to?" I ask. He points to big bleacher signs all along the highway, but the one we need is out of view. Starts with "Wood-something" I think. Finally, he admits, "I don't know." "That's fine," I respond gently, kissing his cheek. "'I don't know' is an acceptable answer." But I can tell he's worried about my temper. I don't see him again, but then everyone gets lost. The bus is more like a steam train car with multiple open side doors and an upper deck. I climb on with the pushing crowd and set the babies in two empty seats on the edge, then stand leaning over them so they won't fall out. Some ladies are talking beside me about how they should move so I can sit close to the kids. But they don't. I spend most of the trip looking for my kids while losing others who wander off. At one point, I find G and J on the lower deck in a sleeping rack, but can't find them later. Chairs are facing different directions. I find my nephew, Jon in the dining car and ask if he knows how to transfer or if he needs help. He's 4. He thinks about it and says, "Just a little help, please." But I lose him, too. I also lose my cell phone and bank card. While looking, I realize I'm in a terminal, no longer on a bus. I panic but find my two babies, both sound asleep by a dark wall. It's after 10 now. I make a pouch in my shirt to carry them and decide to walk home. It's a long walk, but I see landmarks that tell me I'm going the right way. Restaurants, signs, skateboard parks, patios along the main drag. So many people and lights it's like daytime. I'm not sure if G got off the bus or whether he is still with J. Not sure if the car will still be where we left it. I am pretty sure I'm dreaming but I'm still worried about finding J. Part of me I wants to wake up so this is over, but I hope more that I find my girl first, and the car, so I can have closure. I am thinking that dreams should always have closure.