The worst (or best?) Tabletop RPG

Date: 2/3/2019

Lemme tell ya'll about this dream I had. It started with me going to a dude's house for a date. So I get there and there's two dudes. The big friendly dude I came to meet, and a bitchy twink. For some reason the twink wants me and the big dude INSISTS I cannot turn him down so I go to his room and there's this woman already there looking freaked out. The twink reveals himself as a vampire and he says the girl and I have to work together to escape his mansion or else his minions will wreck our shit. The big dude shows up but he's a hulking zombie with a big ol club. We get a short headstart and run to the front gate but it's locked and we can't climb over it. We follow a clue to the garage where the club zombie catches the girl and clubs her to death. I follow the next clue to the greenhouse where the zombie gardener nearly snips my head off with his clippers. I get out the front gate but now the twink vampire is chasing me. Scene change! Apparently I was playing a tabletop RPG that was like Monster of the Week only every player character is a Mundane jackass and our minds are magically placed into the bodies of our characters. Our strengths and weaknesses are based on our backstory. So I go to a club to learn how to play this game but I accidentally went to an advanced players meeting. They help me anyway and one woman starts asking me about myself. Turns out that the etiquette of this game says you should talk to everyone as if they are their character from the moment they arrive. Not knowing this, I tell her about myself. This turns out to be how you make a character and I just made myself as a character. My only strength is manipulation because I work in marketing and that's apparently close enough to manipulation that it becomes a character strength. In addition to that I have a ton of weaknesses because that's just who I am as a person. Then I'm thrown back into the game only now, because I basically made myself the character, it's an "if you die in the game you die for real" situation. Somehow I make it to the hospital to get help but the hospital is under the control of the vampires. Twink vamp gets there, but he can't kill me in the hospital. So he and the staff are trying to get me to leave but I can tell the staff is unwilling to work with him. I start using my one ability of manipulation to get the staff on my side. I think it worked because I was being moved away from the vampire and into the psych ward. The last thing I saw was a display case that said "rent a game console for your room! Talk to the front desk" so I was taken to my room with a Sega Dreamcast and apparently that was enough to win.