It's not jealousy

Date: 5/22/2019

There's only one person here on this app who knows the back story to this, long story short, me and my best friend loved the same girl... He gave up after preasumibly being rejected, and then he encouraged me to try as well, it didn't work out. But that was a long time ago, he got a girlfriend about half a year ago and I did few months ago, we both put that matter behind a year ago, I stopped dreaming about her in succession, but occasionally I get a dream here and there. -dream starts, I was back at high school but it wasn't my school, it looked unfimiliar yet I still had the feeling I belonged there, we were in chemistry class, the tables were double sided so you got students facing each other, like I would normally, I picked a a chair in front of my friend... He was sitting there, his head shaven (I've never seen him like this but he will have to shave it for army), and he still looked very happy. That girl comes in the door and immidiatly sits next to him, her smile radiating like a sun.. In a way that's almost "too" happy. Her hair was bleached white-is blond, and completely straightened out, which is very unlike her. When she sat next to him she didn't even bother glancing at me before going all over him... Laughing together, smiling, kissing... Even tho they both knew it's not the most sensitive thing to maybe show off in front of me.. I just felt uncomfortable that I had to watch it. They started talking and singing in Russian, which I barely understand so I couldn't make up a word or the reason for their laughter, It just felt very isolated at that instant. I don't think what I felt was jealousy, I woke up rather irritated, I dreamt this right after a very scary dream, yesterday. It was a very interesting dream but I just didn't have the strength to log it.