Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 8/31/2016
By Purple
In my dream I was at a location I did not recognize. I don't know the city I was in, and I don't know the building area. I was at some sort of hotel suite which was on the main floor, and it was a private apartment suite with a private entrance and a back way to its own private garden. Even though it was a hotel room, it had the feeling of being an apartment. It seemed to be well lived-in for the short time that the guests were staying there. I was with some friends, and I was not alone while I was in that apartment/suite. The only friend I can recall at this time is my friend Amy. The apartment/suite belonged to N and his fiancée. (In real life, N is married and has a child.) I somehow knew I was not supposed to be in there. I was looking around just out of curiosity, when I noticed a bunch of things were there that used to belong to me. I started to go through these items one by one. It was stuff that I had forgotten about, and stuff that was not so important, so it could be thrown out. But then I started to see a few things that had sentimental value, and decided to hold onto them. Amy had asked me if she can have something and I wasn't sure what it was, but then after I realized I threw it out, I told her that she can have it. She did reach into the garbage to take it for herself. The rest of my old belongings I brought to the shredder and got rid of them that way. Suddenly, a bunch of people started to show up in the apartment. I knew that I should not be there, but I acted normally. N had eye contact with me, and I had no idea what he was going to do. He grabbed me by the arm, looked me in the eye, and suddenly and embraced me with much love, while his right hand cupped my butt cheek. I could not believe this turn of events, and somehow prevented myself from crying with joy and relief. Other people observed, but I had a feeling that they would keep this secret to themselves. While in his arms, he fiercely whispered how much he loved me, but felt powerless to be together. The room we were in was his honeymoon suite and he was about to be married. Suddenly, more people showed up, and he abruptly released me, then casually, cordially and coldly acknowledged me as if I was some distant friend of a friend from the past. I was shocked and hurt but understood. Then N put on airs and treated his fiancée like a queen, spoke with a fake accent, as if he was a knight serving his queen. I suspected not many people liked her, including N. (Waking realization: this is practically what's happening with the guy I'm seeing now!) N's fiancée was in the room and I turned away, so I would be innocent of the woman I may possibly hate. I don't want to make her my enemy, I just want to leave. And take N with me. But that'll never happen. I gathered my few memories, and started to head out the door. On my way out, I had eye contact with M, another ex. Omg, what's happening?! Too many emotions from N to even process another ex with a lot of other repressed emotions. I think he was shooting me the same look I gave to A while I was in the college elevator (a real life incident). I briefly paused and looked M in the eye. The world stopped spinning for a brief moment and then I continued to make my exit. Note: I nearly completely forgot about this dream upon waking, but it slowly came back to me.