Dream Journal Ultimate
Date: 10/30/2016
By Fitful
I was trying to win over this girl, woman, this goddess. She was a teacher/ruler at a school I happened to be at. The school was more like a prison. The tables in the cafeteria were filthy, sticky, bugs crawling around on them, impossible to comprehend the level of degredation. I tried to fix something, kept going for different types of stone and brick and cobblestone and cement but I had to audition for each ingredient. She was very eager to use my newness against me. She litterally laughed at everything I tried to do, and the whole room laughed at me. I liked her so much I tried to sing but forgot the lyrics and my voice, in the song it was supposed to come off off key on the first few notes, before the talent of the Broadway song came in, but I didn't remember it and she laughed too hard at the first note. I tried to look up the lyrics on my smartphone but wasn't given a chance. Not really sure in retrospect why I was trying to win her over, she was horrid to me, and cruel, and the whole school seemed to be her laughing army and I was perceived as the one apart. However, I didn't take their cruelty, or hers, seriously. And I really did want her. Before this I was a dude in a battle against light and dark, it was kinda not as serious as it should have been, I mean the dark side had Demons which were made of shadows, and the light side had this summoner characters which brought the light, with ankhs that were huge they threw them. I think i wasn't on a particular side, just trying to evade being dead. I might have been a girl Idk, I never saw my gender until that last bit with the goddess. Before this I was killed, someone human killed me rituals, stuck a knife in my, a blue triangle blade, stone or metal handle, very nice, very old. And as I was dead, not breathing, heart not beating, a shadow escape me, crawled right off the whole back of me and slipped away while the guy who killed me started up a conversation with him, him the demon he let loose. The demon (he was a well groomed gentleman like human body but his eyes did seem very calculating and scary to me) did peek at me, asked "Who's this?" to which my killer replied "ah, nobody" very dismissive. I felt myself breathing, and tried to hold my breath, as the dapper demon just stared at me with very blue eyes and I stuck in my death pose, eyes and mouth open, body frozen "dead" so he wouldn't kill me with his gun blaster thing which really would kill me. The entire scene I witnessed from a "dead" corpse, well frozen and warming, although I think my body would have jump started just fine once the dagger was removed, I don't think it really hurt me that badly. Before this I was trying desperately to keep this boy alive, I was an older man, think gandalf, and i was worked subtly to keep people from finding out about him. There was a lot of traveling back and forth Astral? Maybe not astrally more like from one plane another, the second being a place your body could actually go, but was invisible and overlapped humanity's. Before this I was dealing with a child. After the dream was over, (yes I went backwards describing it, it's how I hold onto the memories. Sorry) after the dream was over I was waking up and began to dream lucidly, it was more like an awareness it was over and I stood up, kinda without a body stood up, it was all in this cloud light white space filled with everybody and me, but we weren't visible, not even slightly, not even invisible, we were just, incorporeal, or made of the cloudlight, and the me which "stood" really just a shifted somehow, which gained everyone's attention, and I thanked them gratefully genuinely for the work they just put in, that every single person contributed greatly and it was due to them that the whole dream was a success. Kinda like a wrap party. It was basically as if I addressed everyone like they were actors. I found it kinda funny. And disarming. It made me realize why the dream didn't have a certain level of intensity, no real fear, because it was all acted, and these characters didn't really mean what they said in each scene. Funny.