Darkness and Death

Date: 9/18/2019

I'm a military chaplain and it's my first day in a war zone. I have a lot of funerals to preside and families to comfort. It's hard but I'm really needed here. Then I find out my mom has suddenly died, so I reluctantly fly home. I go home on a Friday, take care of things and get ready to head back Sunday night. Then I find out my dad has suddenly died that night. So I fly to go deal with that. I have a lot of grief to deal with but I take some comfort in the fact that I called both parents and said "I love you" recently and that Dad's a Christ-follower, I'm pretty sure. I tell someone this, breaking into tears. At least I had the perspective to treat every conversation like it could be our last. I think about how this grief will make me less effective in comforting others and that I need some time to heal. I see a grieving, callused, prideful military chaplain doing a funeral and a crying mother. His parents had died, but he said, "Who's going to bury these Soldiers?!" That's not what I want. My younger brother has found the best next flight to San Diego, on a Thursday night. But I'm thinking about driving cross-country and moving permanently. The three of us unexpectedly got inheritance/insurance money, about $40,000 each, so that helps.