Grandpa commited suicide in front of me

Date: 5/29/2020

My grandfather jumped out of the window of the balcony right in front of me in a wheelchair and I was sad I never got to go on the walks I always went on as a kid with him again. I ran outside hysterically! I was in the lobby of his apartment and I was police there I figured they were there for him. I ran quickly to the spot where he jumped but I didn’t see him.. I looked at everyone face I ran past even if they were in care to see if they were horrified but they all seemed normal. I ran around the entire building figuring I thought he fell in the wrong place and everytime I was turning a corner looked at the faces of the people walking. I couldn’t find him! It was weird. I figured I would go on those walks with my grandmother now, even though I didn’t want too