from the back

Date: 5/27/2019

There was this guy. We were in a house with a few others. The house was very nice, I think, and clean. It wasn’t high class, but it wasn’t low class either. To me, it looked like the average OBX house. Think smaller though. He was in the kitchen and I, on the couch. A person was inside, speaking to the few others and I, while he was having sex with someone behind the counter. To me, it was blatantly obvious that he was having sex. He was standing up with a girl bent over, who I thought was a guy in the beginning, and he was having straight up intercourse with her. He was super nonchalant about it. I felt voyeuristic, because I kept watching. I don’t know why. The girl seemed to be in pain. Yet, for some reason, it just didn’t stop. I think he might’ve been forcing her. Though... she was enjoying it at the same time, and it looked consensual. It was a mix of both maybe. I was beginning to like it too. It was anal sex. In real life, thinking about anal sex makes me cringe, but in the dream, my tolerance for it was different. It still made me want to cringe, but it was pleasurable for me to see at the same time. I was more into the forcing aspect, than the actual feeling. I wasn’t into however the girl was feeling, and I think I didn’t care to. I cared more about what he was doing. After a bit, he tied something around her neck. It looked like a tie or something. He began to pull on it, and I mean hard, and she started to choke. She could not breathe. I thought her head was going to pop, he was pulling so hard. It made my own head and neck hurt, just by looking. He was asking something of her, and I think it was the only thing she could do to get out of that. I don’t think she ended up doing what he asked. I don’t know what happened next... because I turned away and the scene changed. The rest is a little foggy. I remember Namjoon, for some reason. I remember a lot of... “students”, maybe. I just know there were a lot of young folks that were around my age. They were coming in, coming out. You know, it kind of reminded me of a video game, like I was looking from bird’s eye view at this part of the dream. They reminded me of these pixelated characters I saw on Episode last night, which is probably why it looked that way. I felt out of place around them, because they were interested in things that I really wasn’t. If they weren’t students, I don’t know what they are. I just remember not being included in something. I remember a feeling of loneliness. That’s all. Oh right. I also remember that kid, Travis, from MySims. He was there. Alright, I think that’s all I remember about the dream. | feelings: loneliness, lust, embarrassment, disgust, guilt, sneakiness, furtiveness, irritation