Realization of a Child

Date: 9/26/2018

I came home from work, & as my child sleeps in his crib (no older than 3 months) I had a realization that I wasn’t there for him enough because I’m always working and that KILLED ME. I immediately started balling, grabbed my son & just held him. I held him, & tried to express love as I felt guilty & unworthy to be a mother. (Being a mother is extremely important to me & I want to be the best mom ever) at that point of me crying and holding him, he whispered in my ear (I can’t remember what he said) but it made me cry even more. 1 of my brothers were there & they tried to pick him up & hold him & I just couldn’t be without my son. I needed to be with him, I needed to love him, I needed to be near him. I don’t have any kids, I’m in no relationships & I don’t think of having kids anytime soon so I’m not really sure what this dream meant, but it felt real. It was extremely short - my son didn’t have a name, or a father was not around or talked of. Just myself, and my brother there to help me.