Wealth Isn't Happiness

Date: 5/31/2017

I'm living in an expensive part of new york city, an area full of mansions, and I'm rich and well off. But I'm very depressed. I have a lot of friends, and people around me though, it's a bit crazy how accepting and supportive they are. I don't think I've ever had that in real life. ~ I'm having a conversation with a woman/girl? With a friend of mine about a guy she was with. She seemed to be explaining why she was with someone so beastly. I looked out the window and the images in her mind played on the glass, he looked like Attila the hunter only with horns on his head. Large tall horns. She said he had promised her the world, they were going to conquer it together, he was a warrior who was going to take it over and she would be his equal. Was it any wonder, a girl like her ambitious and warrior like, would want that? She seemed to be excusing or explain herself, but lost in the past. ~ I was looking out the same or a similar window, well I was sleeping and I occasionally opened my eyes to see my surroundings. My grandfather, who was dying, climbed up a ladder outside the house, and I knew what he was going to do. I pulled a stuffed animal over my eyes, but he banged on the window and got my attention, then jumped off the ladder. It was in the news, his suicide. Apparently he'd been a vampire or some other vicious beast. And he'd been rich and the town was abuzz with news of his suicide. ~ I was trying to explain something to my mother, but she wasn't getting it. I was fully of passion for the subject and tried a metaphor, which mad em have to explain the flat earth theory. As I was talking about the sun and moon, and trains she was staring at me flabbergasted. I kept on, smug inside, knowing she didn't understand a word of it all and reveling in my superior weirdness. I knew she wouldn't get it, but I also knew it was fun to try and make her understand with fantastic metaphors that made her further think I was off a bit. I think it was almost a sadistic glee which I was reveling in although pain wasn't involved, except the pain of stupidity. ~ All that chattering to my mother and then I talked and talked a long time with a friend I realized I had broken my vow of silence I was upset about that and wanted to quit I had talked so much that day and forgotten about the vow, but decided to try and get through it. ~ There were two girls who were lovers, and had found each other in this life. They were aware of their past lives and surprised they were human in this one, usually they were humanoid but far different. This life they were humans, and servants one of the the rich mansions in the area. One girl had a close cut hair do, dyed blue, the other choppy blond hair. Both I think were Katy Perry. They had different personalities then they were used to as well, soft and subservient. It was like taking on a role in a movie. But they were very glad to be together, glad to have found each other again. ~ My grandma is sitting in a diner with me, it's been a while since her husband committed suicide. She and I are having a visit, and there is an old man in the booth nearest us who is staring at her, his way of showing interest. She is ignoring him. For some reason I know him, he is quite the individual, and I know his reasons and attitudes and i approve of him. But she doesn't and turns to leave, paying him no attention. ~ The same diner but it is empty and she is sitting g there by herself in the dark. I come down the steps into the diner and grief hits me, almost overwhelming, about the passing away of my grandmother. It's defiantly a female I'm mourning, not my grandfather. She tells me not to cry, in a no nonsense tone, and I tell her I really miss who passed away. Then I leave. ~ I'm back in California and I'm in a van with friends, good friends, and we're following a van in front of us, I assume with more of our friends inside. I'm chattering away and having a good time, glad to be back in California, and I realize the girl I'm talking to isn't driving the van. She tells me the van drives itself, because it's remote controlled by the one in front, and it is, it even stops perfectly in time with stop lights. I still feel nervous and she moves into a seat with a steering wheel which is on the middle bench. She tells me she should remember how to drive anyway, and experimentally turns the wheel, drifting the van to the left a bit before correcting that. I think about learning to drive again too, and that I'm happy to be back I California, that going to New York city was just a mistake. ~ Back in New York city I'm visiting a little boy at his mansion home. I dot even ask permission, I just enter the house and two of my friends are tagging along. The parents don't complain about the strangers in their home, just point the way to the little boys bedroom which is at the opposite end of the house. I make my way there, seeing some unusual animals along the way, little things made of a length of fur and a face and nothing else, which dive into blankets to hide and peer out playfully. I find the little boys bedroom but he's not home from school yet. My friend and I explore the room, the bed is made to perfection, with pillows and toys and books on it in grand display. The room is really magical, the best money can buy, and reminds me of childhood. The school bell rings and I open the door which leads out the boys room to a cobblestone drive before seeing the massive school right next door. It's intimidating, grey stone lined with black iron bars over everything, like a prison school. I just know he's trapped there. He walks home, coming tentatively inside once seeing us strangers and my friends are all over his stuff in the background. He asks what we're doing, politely, he's dressed in prep school clothes and carrying books on a strap and is a little pudgy with soft brown hair. I bend down and ask him his favorite color, which he says is blue, and I make blue flame appear in my hand. I tell him we're here to teach him magick. My friends in the background are dancing around doing magic to show off. ~ A bit later with the boy, we're all watching a film which seems to be about sex ed only for objects. Inatiment objects apparently can reproduce, they must enter into a new type of being which is liked to puberty, and once the connection is made in the body the they can reproduce like normal alive things. All four of us are very shocked by the film, staring and flabbergasted ourselves.