Cutting Off My Own Head

Date: 4/21/2019

I started by walking into my garage. It looked like it was being set up for our Halloween party, so it was parted like a maze with these plastic canvas walls we use. The purpose of the walls it to make the garage feel bigger and like an actually haunted house instead of a decorated garage. Anyways, I came across myself. I was lying on one of the white tables we rent out whenever we have the Halloween party. So this is the part that makes this dream different from my others. There were two versions of myself and I could look at myself, though for a while I didn’t see myself clearly. I took a knife and cut off my head. It went smoothly. It was like slicing cake. I took my head and examined the bottom. You’d expect there to be a whole where my throat was supposed to be and I expected that too, but instead it looked like someone had patched my skin up as it just looked like skin and stitches. Then I went to my grandma’s to eat. I was carrying my head around but trying to hide it, especially my face, by holding my face to my stomach. When I sat down to eat, I put it on the other side of the table facing away from me. But then my little cousin started poking it and messing around with it so I took it away. I put it in my lap as I ate, still hiding my face. As I ate, I started to examine the stitched bottom again I was trying to figure out how to put it back on, and how I’d be able to eat and breathe with no throat hole. My grandma noticed me doing this, and when I noticed her, I hid my head again and became embarrassed. She said that it was creepy and that she didn’t know how I could eat with it around and I became even more embarrassed. After I was done eating I set it down, then picked it up again and looked at my face. I looked like this one woman I saw on r/instagramreality the day before. I panicked and dropped it, thinking “is this what I actually look like,” and feeling more ashamed, as I am a trans guy. I took my head because I had to leave. My grandma had some Christmas decorations set up and I tried to convince her that my head would look nice with it and put it was the decorations because I didn’t want it anymore. She seemed unsure.