A Lot of Jordan Peele

Date: 6/25/2019

I’m having brain surgery. My mom is on board because she thinks it’s for one of those paid experiences at iowa you get emailed about. It isn’t, and I’m not really sure what it’s for because I know it’s a dream and I didn’t plan it. Either way, I’m aware these surgeons are practicing illegally, and they have a pretty decent chance of fucking me up. I tell my mom that if something happens and I can never read or write again, that I want her to read everything I’ve ever written. I try to text my friends about what’s going on, that I’m about to have brain surgery, but they’re talking about something else, and I don’t really want to bother them. I type the message, but it doesn’t send, so it doesn’t matter anyway. While the surgeons are putting me to sleep, the plot starts to get uninteresting, and my body tries to wake me up, but I want to know how it ends so I stay asleep. When I wake up, I feel fine, and I’m told I absolutely need to stay inside and that I need to eat these special candy bars once a day, and nothing else. Needless to say, I don’t wanna be stuck with these sketchy doctors, so I run the hell out of the building. I start running with some other girl who had the same idea, but we quickly realize we’re being followed by our doppelgängers, and I want to know so badly what the brain surgery was for. We run through an outdoor mall and through back alleyways and buildings until I see my friends, and I finally tell them what happened. Everyone is nervous and worried about me, but Britney seems oddly serious. It’s night now, and we need to go home. I start to eat the candy bar but it’s thick and hard to swallow, so I only take a couple bites before I decide I need to shower. Britney is in the bathroom washing her hands, and when I walk in, she gasps. I lean forward because I feel something in my eye, and I assume it’s tears, but it’s a black, watery substance just pouring out of my eyelids. I’m trying to stay calm, and when my eyes feel normal, I turn to britney and ask, “is it done?” She says, “not quite.” She leaves to get a roll of paper towels because the black water is gushing out of my nose. I look in the mirror and open my mouth to see it pouring down the back of my throat, and I start screaming as I choke on it and let it all fall out of my mouth. Britney comes back in looking calm. I say, “what if this was the old me leaving my body, and this is the new me now?” Britney doesn’t say anything, and when I look in the mirror, I am absolutely fucking gorgeous. I look nothing like myself, but I am so beautiful that I’m in shock. Britney asks, “do you like the new you?” I tell her yes, I do. Dawn comes out of one of the stalls, and I tell them I had brain surgery today. They don’t believe me, so I go to find the chocolate bar, but I’m so hungry that I eat it right then. Sam comes in and asks what we’re doing for dinner. I ask them why they hadn’t eaten already since now all the dining halls are closed, but they say they were waiting for me. My message had sent earlier. I don’t want to tell them that I can’t eat anything but this candy now, and I can’t turn around because they’ll know I’m not me. The person I thought was my doppelgänger was the old me, and I have no idea who I am now.