No longer in opposition

Date: 2/19/2020

I was back at Poison Lawn, going through each room and apartment, looking at all the show posters, the graffiti, the bicycles, the showroom, and just crying with a feeling of loss and nostalgia. I was drinking again, drunk, and I climbed the black walnut tree by the broke down half pipe and could see the neighbor walking his dog in the middle of the night. I turned on a clip lamp that was in the tree and it shined right on him. He tried to look up at me but couldn’t tell who was there. I looked down and saw that I was topless and felt exposed. I was looking for Michael, trying to use my phone, to remember numbers. Suddenly, I was in a diner and Michael was there WITH PHILLIP in a booth. This is the first and only time I’ve ever dreamed of them side by side. I say to them, “So you’re together now.” Meaning, they’ve teamed up somehow, and are no longer in opposition. I favor Michael in the dream, when usually I always favor Phil and seek Phil feverishly. At the end, I am in my mom’s old living room, the house she lost to the bank, and my little sister is sleeping on the couch, she is young again, and she has an adult male babysitter. She is always a kid again in my dreams.