Kisses from past love or idea of love

Date: 3/23/2025

This is probably like PG-13 Someone I really care about showed up in my dreams a couple days ago, but I didn’t write it down bc I was kind of sad. But I will now because I don’t want to forget it. I haven’t seen this guy in 2 years now but basically we are totally not in each other’s life so I don’t ever see pictures of him and his face is not super sharp in my mind anymore. Plus I’m kind of moved on, as much as one can move on when they haven’t fallen for anyone new… So, on to the dream. He was my ideal depiction of a man I would want as a friend/boyfriend/husband, in that order, so he kind of looked like this guy but not quite because my memory of his face is faded. We had met recently and were like, best friends, and he wanted to sleep together one night and started kissing me. I remember the kiss being kind of cold and wet 😅 not in a bad way but in a sloppy way like maybe he was a little drunk. It was still enjoyable, is my point. But when he tried to advance it I stopped him and said seriously but gently “You are too important to mess it up with sex right now.” I guess we had a whole conversation then about why I wanted to wait but it was only imagined not depicted visually. Then we slept in the bed together like just sleeping but when we woke up he was sober again I guess and I gave him kisses on his face like forehead and each cheek and mouth and like idk all over, lol. Like affectionate, not starting anything. Cause I wanted him to know I did want him in that way I just wanted to wait a while, like maybe actually make it an official exclusive relationship first, not necessarily until marriage. And I think he did the same to me because I felt little kisses on my face and it felt realistic. Anyway then it started getting a little bit less PG-13 ironically but I think those were more like daydreams caused by the dream so I woke up bc I was like I know I’m just dreaming. And yes I could have stayed and maybe tried lucid dreaming but I had no interest bc it was making me sad at the same time since I wanted it to be him but the face always is blurry or not fully there, or just a lookalike of him, cause my memory is fading. I remember his eyebrows and his lips and his jaw and his hair but when I try to put it all together no matter how hard I try I can’t quite get it perfect as it would be if he were just in front of me irl.