Alex was my Senpai

Date: 7/2/2016

I've got an old friend called Alex who I really fucking miss. We didn't exactly fall out but a third party complicated our friendship and we never talk or hang out anymore, which is a shame because it's rare that I really care about a person, and I still care for him immensely. Last night I dreamt I was back in school and he was there too. I endured several classes before I had one with him in it at which point my dream self got emotional. He was seated in front and it's been so long since I've seen him, he looked a little different and I wanted to be sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. They weren't. He looked right through me a few times and I felt ignored and frustrated. At some point during this same class he 180'd and came right to me, took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was an odd kiss that reminded me of being on mushrooms with my partner once IRL. In that the kiss told a story, that he didn't need to use words. As a result it will be hard to try and explain here. I can only say that it started very passionate and ended like a kiss you'd give a perfect stranger in Europe. and I felt like I learned a lot about what he's been going through even though we haven't talked in ages. When I woke up, I briefly checked his Tumblr where I can sometimes get a vague idea of how he's doing, only to find that it's now gone (which must have been a recent decision). The dream left me feeling incredibly sad and lonely.