“Men Have Periods Too!”

Date: 1/8/2018

I was in a retro shop which seemed to sell everything and anything ... and all with an extortionate price tag. Despite being initially impressed, I left empty handed and a little bit bummed that I couldn’t afford to buy anything. As I walked out, I saw my Husband Mat standing with some others on the corner of the street. He was telling a friend how he was off to Glastonbury. “And you didn’t think to invite me?” I gasped in horror. “It’s for charity...” he said. “One of my friends from college commit suicide...” “Oh, sorry to hear that... but why wouldn’t you invite me along? Are you scared that I’ll say something insensitive?” I questioned. “Sort of... he was on his period at the time and I just don’t think you’d understand.” “His period?... as in a man period... a ‘meriod?’” I probed. “Yes, Mandy. Men have periods too!” I was completely mind blown by his statement and was glad when a fat kid walked by and broke the silence. But not so glad when he shouted something inappropriate over to me and Mat told him he was an arsehole. We all thought that he’d just walked on... but then we see this fat kid running at us, like a bull to a red rag. Things turned violent and fast. As a last resort, I had to blow him up with a machine gun and everyone said that I was a hero. I didn’t feel like one. Violence was never in my nature. Next scene: We had thrown a house party which extended out into the garden. Everyone and anyone seemed to be there... even people we didn’t even know. Someone kept cranking the music up and the neighbours kept complaining and the kids kept waking up. Things were getting out of hand and I couldn’t seem to keep things under control.