Sarah Akerman takes over

Date: 1/5/2019

I’m recording this because it was very clear and seem to be making a repetitive point, so I feel that it’s important in some way. I’m living in a shared house, seems to be that mum is living there and also Manda. I have a small room but one where I am able to have a table so I can do my studying for my counselling course, and my art. Mum has a big room with a double bed. It seems that Manda has invited Sarah Akerman to move in, this is all a bit blurry how it all come about. I’m not sure if it’s meant to be short term or long term. I’m fine with this (funny, I’m just remembering when IRL she used to stay at my house sometimes and it was a bit odd coz she’d just disappear in the night and leave the spare room in disarray!) The problem is that she moves in and completely takes over, demanding all the space and moving furniture around so that we have almost no space. She moves my room around so things are in a different place at first - I thank her for tidying it up initially thinking “cheek!” while I do so, but determined to be civil. Then she starts moving her tables in, and eventually a bed too. She also has a table out in the hall. And mum has to move out of her own room and into a smaller one - Sarah has moved Mums double bed in so that there’s no room for anything else, and taken the larger room for herself. Her stuff is everywhere and eventually I just lose my rag and confront her. She says to me “you just want to have a bigger room“ and I say – “no, I had the small room and I was quite happy with that, but I need the space I have to do my studying and my art” The argument went on but I can’t remember any more about it, just that I was absolutely furious, and it was satisfying to let rip. Manda was around and seemed a bit resigned. Can’t recall what mum thought. I can’t believe I’m the only one having a problem with it. Sarah Watson from church happened to be there and I was complaining about it...she said “well, you just have to love her” and I thought how do I do that? Then she suggested that we charge her according to the amount of space that she uses in the house – and I thought that was an excellent idea, that it might get rid of her. In real life no one would let her do all that, and only a psycho would insist on taking over like that... 🤔so what might it mean? I don’t think I really have an issue with Sarah Akerman! Think she’s representative of a part of me....the part that takes over...the achiever. And my other parts are getting stroppy with her! The issue was the feeling I had of being squeezed out of my own space, was quite suffocating and overwhelming. I sensed her complete lack of empathy and understanding, just not listening to me or caring about what I felt or how it was for me, of my needs. I do think it’s a kind of a cry for help from the inner child part. So what to do? Hmm, the other characters in this dream could almost relate to other parts of me. Mum is Ros, avoiding the issue. Manda is Pollyanna perhaps glossing over it all? Sarah W is Penelope, working to solve things logically. Just a thought!